Choosing your battles

Okay, time to come clean here. I’m going to admit something out loud that those close to me have probably been frustrated with for a long time.

I’m stubborn. I like to have my way. And I want everyone else to see my way, too.

But how many times do things really work out exactly how I want them to? Especially when dealing with people, I’ve learned if I want to be happy, I’ve got to know when to give up.

I’m learning to choose my battles. Working on knowing when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em. When to stay at the table and when to walk away.

I really don’t know how anyone could survive as a parent without learning some give and take. There’s no kid on this planet who will do everything you want them to do, when you want them to, exactly the way you want them to. (Much less a husband. Hardy har har.)

I figure as long as my son gets a reasonably good intake of nutrients through the day, enough sleep at night, and is safe and comfortable, I can give a bit on how we get there.  For instance, he is rejecting vegetables left and right these days. Instead of freaking out and trying to force him to eat them how I want him to, I’ll try a new way. (Dipped in hummus seems to be working right now.)

When daddy puts our son to bed, I am sure there are times he forgets to brush his teeth. While I wouldn’t want this to be every night, I have 3 choices when I realize it’s happening: take over and do it myself, call out a reminder, or say nothing at that moment and just be happy to have 30 minutes to myself while my husband does the task.

I’m opting for number 3 these days, but with a gentle reminder at another point. Maybe the next night I will say, “Honey, don’t forget to get his teeth good tonight, he had some sticky jellybeans earlier.” When I try to correct my husband mid-task, he gets a bit frustrated with me.( And I’m sure if it were me being corrected, I’d be defensive, too.)

My husband has a way of doing things that isn’t exactly what I would do.

And I’m thinking more and more that’s okay.

What battles are you letting slide and which ones are you holding fast to?

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Comments (3)

  1. Jessica Beard

    Being a first time mom, I had been stuck in my ways for awhile before the birth of my son. My house was always spotless, the laundry and dishes were always done, and I could do what I wanted. My husband has always been a huge help around the house, but I have a certain way of doing things-clothes are hung up the correct way and laundry folded a certain way. We recently moved after the birth of my son, and now I have to pick my own battles. If my husband feels like putting the dishes away and they aren’t exactly in their correct place that is fine by me! We have to work together to make our home presentable. I appreciate his help now more than ever, so I can get some sleep too. I’m sure things will get easier as our son gets a little older.

    • Lisa

      That’s exactly how I feel, too, Jessica!

  2. Camie Rae Coles

    It’s hard! I’m trying to weed out the times I need to be really upset and the times I can just let it slide. Like if he’s playing with the stove or dropping a plastic cup on the floor and it breaks. Playing with the stove could end in disaster whereas the cup breaks, meh. It was a dollar.

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