Do you still hang out with your childless friends?

Once you become a mom, there’s an automatic divide that goes up between you and your friends who don’t have children. You’ve joined a new club. And they’re not members.

Yet while some moms feel they’re misunderstood by their childless friends, others feel an important key to remaining happy is to keep up those friendships.

If you’re a new parent, chances are you’re immersed in baby stuff up to your eyeballs. And you really need to be in those first few months. Your baby needs you, and you’re taking the most important crash course of your life, it seems. You’ve got to master the basics and keep up.

In those critical early mommy months, you don’t have the time or desire to speculate with a friend about office gossip at her job. You want to talk about poop, spit up, and a host of other things that friends without kids simply have no idea of—and frankly don’t want to hear about. And honestly, those things have important meaning in your life. For a time.

Just know that this mommy-immersion phase doesn’t have to last forever. You’re still a woman, sister, friend, wife, and cousin, in addition to being a mom. And each of those roles carries with it important people who rely on you.

Maybe your friends don’t rely on you as much as your little one does. After all, most friends are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.  But your friends want to see the fun, witty person they knew from before, even if it’s a new modified version, in a new modified setting. They still want to talk with you about what’s going on in their lives.

So taking the time to be just you with them—and not “the mommy”—can be good for you and for them, too.

What about you? Have you kept up your friendships with non-mom friends?

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