Remembering who I was before I became a SAHM

If you’re a full-time stay-at-home mom (sahm, in Internet speak), it can be hard to see yourself beyond your role as a mom sometimes.

Sure, it’s a noble calling. Yet for all its honor, dedicating yourself to the full-time care of your family is not easy. It’s probably one of the hardest jobs on this earth.

Yesterday, as I was running some errands a couple weeks after giving birth to my second son, I pondered the woman this sahm had become.

Sometimes, since becoming a sahm, I feel like my personality has changed. I’ve become a horsedriver with a whip, chasing routines and schedules, ticking off the same household chores every day. Empty the dishwasher, load the washing machine, fold the laundry from yesterday. Take my toddler to the toilet. Feed him breakfast. It’s 9 o’clock, breastfeed the baby. And so on.

It feels like the routines have taken over my mind. And there’s not much space left over for other grown up womanly things.

I listen with interest to my husband’s talk of his workplace. Then I tell him how his oldest son used the toilet all by himself. And his youngest had a good stretch of tummy time. Thankfully, he’s interested.

But I have to say I sound pretty boring to myself.

Where’s the spontaneity I once enjoyed? The fun, beautiful woman I might have been at one point? When was the last time I watched the news or read a news story (beyond children’s product recalls)?

I know we all have our ups and downs. Working moms have their doubts and guilt, too. And to be fair, I chose to be a sahm. I just have to remind myself that there’s more to me than my children.

And too soon I will have that self back as they grow up…

How will your kids speak of you when they grow up?
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Comments (4)

  1. Tania

    Being a sahm is definitely one of the hardest jobs but it’s also the most rewarding! It takes alot of patience and takes a lot of work to not get stuck in the same old routines.

  2. Jessica B.

    I have been feeling the same way lately that I could have written this post! I am new to the sahm job, but I agree it is the hardest job on earth. After being a teacher for 6 years prior, I was constantly multi-tasking and on the go all the time. Now that I have my son at home, I have to realize that not everything will get done each day. I also feel boring when I talk to my friends and my husband. Do they really like to hear about what my 6 month old did that day? I feel like I don’t have anything else to talk about. As you grows up, I hope to return to the workforce and will be able to socialize again in that environment. In the time being, I will cherish each day with my family! It is a very rewarding experience.

  3. Ces

    This is a great article. I just started to be a SAHM 3 months ago. I am still enjoying it now after many years of working but I had to say that I get bored at times.

  4. Terri W.

    When I stayed home with my kids several years ago, it was the best time of my life! I loved seeing all of their “firsts,” going to their sporting events, volunteering in their classrooms, and cuddling them when they were sick. I was always there for them and I know they appreciate it to this day!

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